The Power of Love
by dicaprio
Summary: It's September 2010, and Syed and Christian are busy living happily ever after.  What could go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

_26 September 2010_

"If you do that, I'll scream," warns Syed, after hearing what Christian has in mind. He struggles desperately, trying to get out from under him.

"All that wriggling isn't helping," smiles Christian, using his vastly superior strength and weight to easily subdue him.

"Christian, no," begs Syed, as Christian's lips search for his.

"Don't fight me," Christian growls, covering his mouth with his own, just before the door entry phone buzzes.

"There's someone at the door," grasps Syed, managing to twist his head away.

"Really?" asks Christian mockingly, as he rolls off Syed, allowing him to escape.

Halfway to the door, Syed turns around and sees Christian reaching for his trousers. "What are you doing?" he demands.

"Making myself respectable for our guest," replies Christian quizzically.

"No, no," insists Syed, returning to pull the trousers out of his hands and fling them across the room; "I'll get rid of them, I'll only be a minute," he assures him urgently. "Don't forget where we were," he reminds huskily, planting a quick, hard kiss on Christian's lips before walking over to answer the now-insistent buzzing.

"You mean where you were begging me not to ...?"

"Don't ruin it," snaps Syed, without looking back.

"If I close my eyes, it's like she's in the room," teases Christian.

"You know, just for a minute there, I thought I felt … are you getting a bit of a tummy?" asks Syed as he reaches for the answer phone.

"SHUT UP," cries Christian in an exaggerated voice, but he can't help moving his hand over his stomach to reassure himself.

Syed gives him a big cheeky grin before he says "Hi".

"It's Amira."

Syed drops the phone as if his hand has been burned, and backs hastily away.

"What's wrong?" asks Christian anxiously, when he sees his reaction.

But Syed cannot answer; he just stares at the phone in shock.

Christian quickly gets up and goes to pick up the receiver. "Hi," he says carefully.

"Christian, it's Amira, let me in."

With a feeling of inevitability, his face firmly set, Christian presses the door-release button and goes to get his dressed.

###########################

"I would like to talk to Syed alone," Amira demands frostily, as soon as she sets foot in the flat.

Christian looks to Syed to decide, but all Syed can do is stare at Amira's round tummy.

"I'll leave you to it," he says quietly after a moment's silence. He grabs his jacket and walks past Amira and out the door.

"I've come to make you an offer," says Amira, finally snapping Syed out of his trance.

Syed burrows a little deeper into Christian's bath robe (which he vaguely realises Christian must have put on him to cover his dignity).

###########################

"It doesn't have to be the end of the world," soothes Jane, squeezing Christian's hand reassuringly.

"He chose his child over me once, why should it be any different this time?" he sighs, already beyond hope.

Knowing there are no words that will comfort him, Jane puts her arms around him and holds him tightly.

###########################

"I still love you, and I'm willing to give you another chance," says Amira, getting straight to the point.

"Um, right," mumbles Syed without looking at her, as he walks to the kitchen. "Would you like tea or coffee, or maybe juice? Christian likes ..."

"A chance to be part of my life, of our baby's life," Amira interrupts impatiently, "but there's a condition."

From the moment she walked in the door, Syed knew what was coming; and now, as she is saying the actual words, he can feel the pressure building in his chest, the old familiar feeling of being trapped returning. Even as he feels joy at discovering he is going to be a father, the feeling is swamped by the most unbearable pain he has ever felt in his life. "Can it really be over, after so short a time?" he wonders despairingly.

###########################

_A couple of hours later_

"Please try to understand," begs Syed, reaching his hand out towards Christian even though he knows he no longer has the right to touch him. "I can't lose my baby, but I can't have you both. I'm so sorry," he cries, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Christian doesn't speak; he just stands staring stonily at Syed, with his packed bags by his side.

"She won't let me be a part of his life, if I don't give you up," Syed pleads for understanding, his voice strained, the pain visible on his face. "She'll move away, somewhere I'll never find her. Qadim can make it happen; he has contacts in all kinds of places."

Christian picks up his bags.

"Syed, let him go," says Zainab quietly, taking his arm to pull him away.

"Can't you see, that's what I'm trying to do," he cries, rounding on her; and Masood, who is standing nearby; "but I can't just let him leave without explaining why I'm abandoning him yet again," he sobs brokenly.

"Christian, please wait," he cries, as he turns back towards Christian, who is now opening the taxi door. "I love you," he whispers.

Christian looks coldly at him one more time, before getting in.

"When you hold your baby in your arms, the pain will go away, Papoo," says Zainab, trying to comfort him. She links her arm through his and turns to walk home. Syed lets himself be led; he says nothing.

###########################

_The same day, in the evening_

"So where will you live?" asks Zainab, as she prepares dinner.

"Dad's found us a lovely little three-bed a couple of streets away from his house. He's having it completely gutted and re-decorated at the moment," replies Amira cheerfully.

"How does he feel about you and Syed being back together?" she asks awkwardly.

"It took a lot of convincing, but he now understands how important Syed is to me; and that once the baby is born, Syed will feel differently about everything," explains Amira. "And as long as he makes me happy, dad's prepared to let us 'get on with it', to use his words. I know he will be watching Syed very closely to make sure he doesn't ever let me down again." Her smile doesn't quite disguise the warning. "But that's all in the past," she adds breezily. "Once we've settled into married life away from here with our new baby, we'll be so happy," she insists confidently, reaching down to kiss Syed's cheek. He doesn't react.

"Syed, call your father and brother," snaps Zainab, as she hands the dinner plates to Amira.

Syed, who hasn't spoken a word since Christian left in the taxi, gets up from the table and starts to walk towards the kitchen door. After a few steps, he is vaguely surprised to see the floor rushing up to meet him, and then everything goes black.

"Syed," cry Zainab and Amira in unison rushing towards him.

"Mas," shouts Zainab, "come quick, Syed's fainted."

After about 10 minutes, it becomes clear that it's more than that.

###########################

_A couple of days later_

"Has Mr Masood recently suffered any kind of emotional trauma?" asks the doctor.

"No, of course not," snaps Zainab dismissively. "What kind of trauma?" she asks uneasily.

"It could be something like being involved in an accident, or maybe witnessing one; or losing a loved one, someone he may have been especially close to?

When no one responds, he continues. "We can find nothing physically wrong with him - the tests we've carried out have all come back negative. That leads us to consider his mental state. There may be something he just can't cope with, something too painful for him to deal with. When no immediate escape is possible and the emotion is overwhelming, we often 'numb out', or lose touch with our feelings. The mind shuts down, and we become disassociated from reality. Things may seem to be happening in slow motion, or we may even lose consciousness.

Are you aware of anything which could have caused such an extreme reaction?"

"Mum," says Tamwar angrily, "are you going to tell him, or should I?"

"Tamwar, please go and wait in the car," orders Masood.

"He's lost the man he loves, the man who means more to him than anything in the world," Tamwar tells the doctor, his voice filled with sadness. "His wife made him choose between the man he loves and his unborn child," he adds, looking accusingly at Amira.

"This is not my fault," she cries, "none of it. He wanted us to have a child. It was his decision from the beginning," she informs them before storming out.

"If I lose my grandchild, I'll never forgive you," Zainab hisses at Tamwar, before rushing after her.

"How long do you think he'll stay like this?" Tamwar asks the doctor.

"It could be days, or weeks, it's hard to say," he admits.

"If I could bring Christian, his partner, here; if Syed could hear his voice, do you think that might bring him around?" asks Tamwar hopefully.

"There are no guarantees in these situations, but it can't hurt to try," says the doctor, refusing to give false hope. "We will monitor Mr Masood's progress over the next few days and let you know if there is any change." He walks off, leaving Masood and Tamwar staring after him, both wishing he could have given them something more concrete.

"You heard what he said, there are no guarantees," Masood calls after Tamwar as he rushes out the door. "Syed will probably wake up of his own accord in a day or two, there's no need to bring _him_ back," he adds wearily, but Tamwar has already left. "I knew it was too good to be true," he sighs, "we're never going to get rid of him." He wearily walks into the ward to sit by his troubled son's bed and hold his hand while he still can.

###########################

"Jane, he would want to know about this," Tamwar insists, forcing his way through the door despite her best efforts.

"He's suffered enough because of your brother," she replies angrily.

"You know Syed loves Christian just as much as Christian loves him," he reminds her. "Syed has suffered too, don't forget. And you of all people should understand why he couldn't turn his back on his child," he adds reluctantly.

"Don't you dare play that card with me," Jane shouts, now furious. Grabbing his arm, she drags him back towards the door.

"I'm sorry, please," begs Tamwar, "that was below the belt, but I'm desperate," he pleads, sticking his foot in the doorway to stop her closing the door, and then crying out in agony as his foot is closed in the door.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," cries Jane, when she sees how much pain he's in. She puts her arm around his waist and helps him to hop awkwardly back into the sitting room. She then carefully removes his shoe and sock and puts ice on his foot.

"It's okay, I'll be fine," says Tamwar after a few minutes, "I'm more worried about Syed."

"All right," sighs Jane, "I'll get in touch with Christian. I'll tell him what's happened."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_The following day at the hospital_

Amira, Zainab and Masood all look up when Tamwar walks in.

"Where have you been," demands Zainab waspishly. "I hope you haven't been in contact with _him_," she growls.

"Jane and Ian are outside," Tamwar says nervously, "they would like to come in to see Syed."

"Well of course they can come in," snaps Zainab, "why did you leave them waiting … are they alone?" she asks suspiciously.

"No, Christian's with them," Tamwar replies. "I'll go and tell them you said to come in," he quickly adds, turning to rush back out the door.

As soon as she sees Christian, Amira gets up and walks out.

"Get out," Zainab hisses, jumping up and moving to stop him approaching. But before she can lay a hand on him, Ian and Jane quickly get in her way.

"Zainab, just for once, try to think only about what's best for your Son," Jane says angrily, pushing her back into her chair.

Zainab looks to Masood for support, but he just shrugs his shoulders. Jane has given him a look of stern warning, and he's not sure how to interpret it, but is taking no chances. Not that he knows what to do for the best at this stage, anyway; it's all such a mess.

Christian doesn't notice any of this, as he is totally focused on the man lying so still on the bed in front of him. He walks straight to the bed without acknowledging Zainab or Masood, and sits on the chair vacated by Amira.

"Hey, what's all this?" he asks huskily, taking Syed's hand in his own and brushing his hair back from his eyes; his hand resting on his cheek for a moment. "I leave you for five minutes …" he gently admonishes.

At the sound of his voice, Syed's eyes move back and forth rapidly a couple of times under his eyelids.

"You know you can't hide away like this forever, you have to deal with things sooner or later," Christian adds gently.

When he doesn't say anything else for a few minutes, and is just content to stare at the beautiful face he thought he would never see again, Zainab forgets herself in her impatience. "Keep talking, Christian," she orders excitedly, "his eyes moved, he can hear you."

Christian slowly turns to stare at her, his eyes filled with bitterness and hatred.

Zainab looks away.

After a little while, Christian starts to chat to Syed about general, practical matters. He tells him he is thinking about applying for a job as a personal trainer in one of the gyms local to where he will be living once he's gets to Canada; and that he's managed to get in touch with all his clients to explain his situation, and refer them to another trainer he knows. He tells Syed he's sorted out the paperwork for his leaving his employment, and has put an extra £500 in his account to tide him over until he finds work; although he assumes his father-in-law will take care of that side of things, but just in case_. _ He tells Syed the watch he bought him with his first month's wages has stopped working; and then admits that he's joking, that it's working perfectly and is the most precious thing he will ever own.

Christian then starts to talk about what happened.

"I was so careful, you know," he tells him. "Even once you'd moved in with me, I took nothing for granted; a part of me was always prepared for something to go wrong. But the longer we were together without anyone interfering, the easier it was to believe that this time they would let me keep you," he says sadly, hardly aware of the tears beginning to fall.

Realising that this is a private matter between the two of them, the others discretely leave the room.

"Watching you marry Amira was so hard for me, it almost killed me," Christian continues, his voice thick with emotion, "but back then things were always unsure between us and it was the bitter end I'd been dreading but expecting. And although it broke my heart, I could at least try to move on; or at least try to accept that I'd lost you.

But this time ..." he starts to say, but has to stop speaking, as his emotions overwhelm him. He reaches out to stroke Syed's hair, the familiarity of the gesture helping to calm him a little. His mind drifts back to the first time they met. He had automatically assumed Syed was straight, but it didn't stop him appreciating his beauty; and his beautiful hair was the first thing that struck him, or maybe it was his beautiful eyes, or his beautiful smile which lit up his eyes, or ..." Comforting memories from those first few happy, carefree weeks envelope him for short time.

"This time," he continues eventually, "we'd become so comfortable together, we fit so well together. And living together, seeing you and being with you each day, was more wonderful than I had ever in my wildest dreams believed it could be. But then, to suddenly have it all come crashing down - it hurt more than I ever imagined anything could," he sobs, dropping his head onto Syed's chest and crying like his heart is going to break. He doesn't see the tear, which escapes and rolls down Syed's cheek.

The beeping of a phone receiving a text message alerts him to the fact that he and Syed are not alone. He looks up, and is shocked to find himself staring into the tear-stained face of Zainab.

"In my faith, it's wrong," she says shakily.

Christian doesn't reply, he had stopped caring about what she said or did a long time ago.

"Does he still believe Allah loves him, that Allah will accept his soul when he dies?" she asks hesitantly.

"Yes, he knows that Allah loves him for who he is. He knows that Allah is not homophobic," Christian replies, keeping his voice calm. "Syed is not ashamed of who he is, it is only other people who are ashamed for him," he adds, waiting for the inevitable put down.

"If he loses his baby, he will blame you," Zainab says quietly, without accusation.

"He won't lose his baby, because he has chosen his baby over me," he sighs.

"No, Christian, he has chosen you, he will always choose you," she finally accepts.

"He loves you, he loves Masood, he loves Tamwar and Kamil, he loves Shabnam, he loves his unborn child," Christian reminds her.

"I know, but he'll never love anyone as much as he loves you."

"Just like you will never love anyone as much as you love Masood."

"I love my children," she insists.

"But it's not the same, though, is it? "

"No," she admits sadly.

"So, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know," she admits.

###########################

Meanwhile, Tamwar has caught up with Amira, and persuaded her to go for lunch with him.

"Amira, I want to apologise for what I said in front of the doctor yesterday," Tamwar begins, "I had no right to tell anyone your private business."

"You were upset," Amira concedes, "we were all upset."

"The doctor says Syed might take weeks or even months to wake up," he exaggerates slightly, carefully noting her change of expression.

"He said that?" she asks, dismayed.

"Yea, but maybe Christian can get through to him. You saw the way his eyes moved as soon as he heard his voice."

"Yea," she admits uncomfortably.

"If he doesn't wake up over the next few days," Tamwar continues, "we might have to move him from the hospital. I suppose you'll want him with you, so that you can take care of him. When will your house be ready?"

"Um, soon, I think," she says, biting her lip.

"Amira, are you sure about all this?" Tamwar asks gently.

"Of course I am," she replies tetchily. "I love Syed. And once we're settled in our house, far away from here and Christian; and once we have our beautiful baby, I know we'll be happy. Syed loves me, I know he does. Maybe not in the same way he loves Christian; but he will forget him once the baby is born, and he will love me because I'm the mother of his child, and …"

"Dad loves mum, so much," Tamwar says quietly, "when you lived with us, you saw how devoted him and mum are to each other. And yet, when things got really bad with Syed recently, he was going to leave her; he was going to leave his new baby. It was only a life-threatening emergency that shocked him into changing his mind.

Now imagine a relationship that isn't based on love, but on emotional blackmail; where you both know that although Syed likes you as a friend, he is only with you because of the baby. Without that special bond of love, what will hold you together when the smelly stuff hits the fan? How long do you think it will be before he starts to resent you for taking him away from Christian? And as that resentment grows, how miserable will your life together be, and how will it affect your children in the long term? You might not even realise you're hurting them, but children sense these things."

"If you've only brought me here to try to convince me to give up on Syed, you're wasting your time," Amira cries. "And don't forget, if he doesn't do what I want, he will never see his son," she warns agitatedly, preparing to get up and leave.

"I'm sorry, I really don't mean to upset you, please don't leave like this," Tamwar begs. "I'm only saying these things because I can't bear the thought of you and Syed being trapped and unhappy," he says sincerely.

"We won't be unhappy once the baby is born," Amira insists desperately.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Tamwar asks hesitantly.

"Yes, I suppose," she replies warily.

"Do you want to be with Syed because you love him; or because he's the father of your baby, and you're afraid of the judgment of the Community for you and the baby?"

When she doesn't respond, he continues. "It must be daunting to realise that for the next 16 years you will be totally responsible for another life; you will have to make all the decisions, including whether your child will get to have his father in his life. I know you lost your mother when you were very young, so you know what it's like to grow up without one of your parents.

Still she doesn't respond.

"You know, you and Syed don't have to live together for you to share responsibility for bringing up your baby," he suggests hesitantly. "You could share custody with him, or let him have maybe a couple of weekends a month. I don't know how these things work, but I'm sure you could come to some kind of arrangement which would work for both of you.

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who doesn't love you? Don't you think you deserve better than that?

You need to do what's best for your baby and also for you, I think," Tamwar finishes off nervously, not quite being able to believe he's said so much.

"I don't exactly have a lot of choices," Amira reluctantly admits.

"Of course you have," insists Tamwar eagerly, "you're beautiful and you've got your whole life in front of you. You'll meet a guy someday who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. You know, the world is a lot bigger than our Community, and you'll meet lots of guys who won't care about what went on recently. It happens every day."

"I don't know," she says doubtfully.

"The alternative will be to go where Syed will never find you," Tamwar says, keeping on the pressure, "which will mean leaving London at the very least. And there's no guarantee that will work, because I know Syed will never give up looking for you, he will never rest until he finds his Son. Do you really want to have to leave a great place like London, and keep looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life?"

"This is a matter between me and Syed," she finally snaps, feeling the argument slipping away from her, "it's none of your business."

"You know Syed can't fight for what he wants," Tamwar insists gently.

"When he wakes up," Amira says irritably.

"Awake or asleep, it won't matter," Tamwar says sadly, "he'll never get what he wants, what he needs."

"I have to go," Amira says abruptly, getting up from the table.

Tamwar doesn't try to stop her this time. "Thanks for hearing me out," he says, his voice full of disappointment.

###########################

_The same day, back at the hospital_

Christian and Zainab sit quietly for maybe an hour, each holding one of Syed's hands, each lost in their own thoughts; and this is how Masood and Tamwar find them.

"Is everything all right?" Masood asks nervously, looking from one to the other.

"Yes," Zainab says, without looking up.

"You know we shouldn't argue in front of him," he gently reminds them.

"We haven't been arguing," Zainab snaps.

"Okay, well, anyone fancy a tea or coffee?" he asks breezily backtracking.

"I'll have a tea," Zainab replies, and when Christian doesn't answer, "and Christian will have a strong coffee with two sugars."

Christian doesn't say anything, but Zainab answers anyway. "You can't go more than an hour without your caffeine fix, don't think I've forgotten," she says stiffly; "and you always did drink too much coffee at the Unit, and it was always too strong," she adds distastefully.

Christian ignores her.

"Has he responded at all?" Masood asks when he returns.

"No," Christian replies flatly without looking up.

"Yes," Zainab replies, "when Christian talked to him about how much their break-up hurt him, Syed cried too," she admits reluctantly.

Christian looks at her for a moment; he doesn't say anything, but she can see in his eyes the effect her words have on him.

"If you want to go home to check on Kamil, I'll sit with him now," Masood says.

"No, why don't I sit with him, and you can both go home," Tamwar says quickly, noticing how Christian's back stiffens at Masood's words.

"Okay," replies Masood a little too cheerfully.

###########################

"So, you and mum in the same room and nothing broken, who'd have thought?" Tamwar says lightly once they are alone.

"Thanks for saving me from your dad," Christian replies.

"Are you hungry? Have you eaten?" Tamwar asks.

"I'm fine," replies Christian.

"When did you last eat?"

"I can't remember, maybe last night."

"Before Jane phoned to tell you about Syed," Tamwar guesses. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he says, and is out the door before Christian can protest.

"You're going to laugh," Christian whispers to Syed once Tamwar has gone, "but your mum and dad make me so nervous."

Syed doesn't answer.

"You know," he adds softly after a little while, "I know I shouldn't say this, but if you stay exactly as you are, I'll get to spent a lot more time with you, holding your hand, talking to you. And maybe at night, if no one's around, I could lie down beside you and put my arms around you. I know it's only been a few days, but I really miss sleeping with you by my side. But if you wake up, I'll have to leave, and she'll take you away, and I'll never see you again," he ends on a sob.

"Grub's up," says Tamwar, bursting in the door with a McDonalds. "Oh, I forgot to get, um, napkins," he adds, quickly turning to leave when he sees Christian is upset.

"We've certainly got enough of them now," Christian smiles a little later when Tamwar hands him five napkins to go with the four that were already in the bag.

"I wish there was a way for you and Syed to stay together," Tamwar blurts out, as they eat.

"Me, too," sighs Christian. He reaches out and takes Syed's hand in his once more.

"Hanging out with you guys has been great," Tamwar mumbles self-consciously. "And I know I'll never have competition for any girls we meet," he tries to joke awkwardly.

"Well, once you've paid the final instalment on your new designer glasses, and actually mustered up enough courage to wear the jeans, shirts and jackets we picked out for you, you won't have to worry about who you're out with," Christian reminds him. "You remember the chat-up lines we worked on and the _Saturday Night Fever_ walk?" he teases.

"Yea, I know all that, but I'll miss hanging out with you guys," Tamwar insists quietly.

"You'll still see Sy all the time," Christian replies, his voice steady.

"I'll miss hanging out with you both," Tamwar says stubbornly, refusing to let it go.

"Please don't, Tam, I can't …" Christian starts to say, but suddenly stops.

"What? What is it?" Tamwar says anxiously when he sees the startled look on his face.

"His hand moved in mine; it's now gripping my hand," Christian says excitedly. "Sy, Sy, can you hear me?" he pleads, leaning down towards Syed and stroking the side of his face with his free hand.

"Christian," mumbles Syed groggily, his eyes fluttering open.

"Babe, you're back," Christian cries, unable to hold back his tears. "How do you feel? Should I get the doctor? Would you like anything, a drink or anything? Do you need anything?" he asks, the words tumbling excitedly after one another.

"Just you," Syed whispers, reaching his arms up to pull Christian towards him.

They hold onto each other for so long that Tamwar decides to carry on eating. He's used to seeing them hugging each other by now; and anyway, food will go cold no matter how exciting or dull a situation; and Tamwar hates to waste food, especially McDonalds, which his mother never lets him have.

###########################

When they arrive back at the hospital, Masood and Zainab are delighted to see Syed awake and sitting up. He gets a warm hug from both of them.

"How are you feeling?" asks Zainab, pressing her hand against his forehead. "Have you eaten?"

"I'm fine," Syed assures her, but then Christian gets up. "Where are you going?" he asks anxiously.

"I need to be leaving now," Christian replies sadly. "I'll never regret having you in my life," he adds huskily, reaching down to kiss his cheek.

"No," Syed cries, grabbing his arm, "you can't leave; don't leave me," he begs, his eyes filling with tears.

"Sy, it's not good for you to get upset," Christian says gently.

"Christian, please," Syed cries desperately.

"Listen to me," Christian says firmly, taking his face in his hands and wiping away his tears, "you've got to be strong, you've got to face your future; it's not about you and me anymore, you've got to prepare for your baby, your Son. It'll be okay, it really will," he whispers huskily, his own tears falling. He pulls him into his arms for one last hug.

"No," Syed begs, struggling in his embrace, "I don't want you to go, Christian, I love you, I need you, I can't bear it if I'm not with you," he pleads. He grabs a fistful of Christian's shirt in each hand and holds on tight as Christian tries to pull away.

"Sy, don't do this," Christian begs, trying to get through to him. "I'm trying to do the right thing here, but I'm not made of stone," he adds emotionally, loosening Syed's grip and backing away from him.

"Please Christian," Syed cries hoarsely, struggling to get out of the bed to go to him; but he is still too weak, and his legs can't support him.

Christian catches him in his arms before he hits the ground, and gently lowers him back onto the bed.

He sits back down on the chair next to the bed, and Syed reaches immediately for his hand; he lets him take it. He gently runs his thumb over the smooth skin in a soothing gesture.

The exertion has exhausted Syed, and he closes his eyes, but forces them open again after a moment. "If I fall asleep, will you be here when I wake up?" he asks anxiously.

"Yes," Christian reluctantly assures him.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

He closes his eyes once more, and relaxes into a natural sleep this time.

Christian keeps his eyes on Syed, to avoid facing the anger he's sure he will see in his parents' eyes.

If he had looked up, he would have been surprised to see Zainab and Masood looking at him and Syed with more pity than anger.

The room is silent for a while, and then Zainab checks her phone. "Amira's left me a message to say she's gone back to her father's," she says worriedly. "I've been trying to phone her to let her know Syed has woken up, but her phone has been turned off for the last few hours. Mas said you had lunch with her," she looks at Tamwar, "did she seem okay? I hope she wasn't upset because ...," she trails off awkwardly, looking meaningfully in Christian's direction, but he's still focusing on Syed and doesn't notice.

"We just chatted about casual stuff," Tamwar replies uneasily, keeping his eyes averted. He has a bad feeling that he's done a terrible thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"I'm not hungry," Syed says flatly.

"I know," smiles Christian, "you haven't been hungry once since we got back to the flat almost two weeks ago."

He hands him the bowl of cereal and waits. Syed knows Christian won't leave until he sees that he is eating, so he does what he has to do.

Sometime later, Christian leans over the back of the couch and kisses him on the cheek. "I'm going to see a client, babe" he tells him, "I should be back in a couple of hours."

"Okay," he replies.

When Christian returns, Syed is still sitting where he left him, flicking through the channels without watching anything. He smiles when he sees the lunch on the table, which Syed has prepared for him. Syed had gotten into the habit after moving in, before he started working with him, of making Christian's lunch whenever Christian had to work in the mornings - which ended up being most days, as his client list quickly grew. And despite how unhappy he's been since coming home from the hospital, he's gotten back into the habit, and never forgets.

After he's finished eating, Christian drives Syed to a park far enough away so that they won't run into anyone they know, and they go for a walk and then sit on one of the benches for a little while. This is another thing Syed doesn't want to do, but Christian insists.

When they get back to the flat, Syed sits back down on the couch.

It's been like this since Syed realised Amira wasn't coming back, and that he would never see his baby.

In bed at night, Christian holds him close while he either sleeps or can't sleep, or while he cries himself to sleep. They've had no luck trying to find Amira. Neither she nor Qadim are still at the last address Syed had been to when they were together, and Qadim isn't the kind of guy you can Google or look up in the phone book.

One day, Christian forces himself to ask Syed if he would prefer to be with Amira and the baby; but then wishes he hadn't because this upsets Syed more than ever, as it forces him to admit something he's tried his best to shut out. "I want to see my baby, to hold him, to see his smile," he says sadly. "I wish I could be a father to my baby whilst he's growing up," he adds, his eyes filling up, "but I can't give you up," he whispers. "I'm a terrible person," he moans, looking helplessly into Christian's eyes.

"No, of course you're not," Christian says firmly, "you shouldn't have to choose. You tried so hard to be in his life, but it just wasn't possible," he gently reminds him, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

Syed buries his face in his shoulder, drawing comfort from his embrace.

###########################

Apart from Jane and Roxy (who actually came to see if Syed was okay, much to Syed's surprise and Christian's delight), they've had no visitors since coming home from the hospital, until one day Christian opens the door to find Zainab standing outside. "I would like to see my Son," she says stiffly.

Christian stands back and motions for her to enter. He then goes into the kitchen to continue doing laundry and other bits and pieces. He listens to his ipod in order to give them some privacy.

"Hi," says Zainab hesitantly, as she approaches Syed.

"Hi mum," says Syed politely, without meeting her eyes.

"How've you been," she asks.

"Fine," he answers, but she can see that he's nowhere near fine.

She tries to talk to him, but he just gives her 'yes' or 'no' answers, and she's left frustrated.

After a little while, Christian turns to come out of the kitchen and catches Syed looking unhappily at Zainab, whilst she has a tight grip on his arm.

Quickly removing his headphones, he catches the end of their conversation.

"… and there's still a ring tone when you dial her number, even though she isn't answering," Zainab is saying, her voice full of urgency. "I've tried ringing from a number she wouldn't recognise, but she still won't answer; so maybe she now has two phones, and knows it would only be us ringing her old one. But it must mean something that she hasn't gotten rid of the phone you can reach her on," she insists desperately.

"I've tried calling her so many times; I've left her so many messages," Syed admits sadly.

"But if you left a message, or even sent her a text, saying that you want to be with her and your baby, that you're no longer with _him_; she'd get in touch, I'm sure of it," Zainab pleads, her grip unconsciously tightening.

"I won't lie to her anymore," he says flatly.

"Oh, how can you be so selfish?" she then cries, losing all patients, "it's not just you suffering you know; have you thought of your father, denying him the chance to know his first grandson? And what about Tamwar, Shabnam and Kamil, don't you care about what's right for them?"

When Syed just stares at her helplessly, without speaking, Christian steps in. "Zainab, enough," he orders, grabbing her arm and forcing her to let go of her Son. "I think it's time you were leaving," he adds firmly.

"Let go of me, I don't want you touching me, you disgusting ..." she shouts angrily.

"Yea, yea," Christian interrupts, affecting a bored voice, as he drags her towards the door, "I know, I'm disgusting, perverted, I should be ashamed of myself, blah, blah, blah. Is that the only song you know?"

Outraged, she goes to attack him, fists flying.

"Much as I love our 'Me Tarzan, you Jane' routine," Christian growls, grabbing both her arms before she can make contact, "I'm going to have to end this now, and ask you to please go home."

"Christian, mum …," Syed begs, but they both ignore him.

Once Christian has Zainab outside in the hall, she surprises him by suddenly bursting into tears.

"Um," he says uncertainly, letting go of her arms and looking awkwardly at her. "I'll go and get Syed," he mumbles turning to go back into the flat.

"I can't go home," Zainab cries softly, "Mas and I had another argument just before I left."

Christian doesn't know what to do or say, so he just stands and waits to see what she'll do next.

"I want to see my grandson; I need to see him," she sobs.

Instinctively, he reaches out his hand to touch her shoulder in sympathy. She doesn't knock it away.

"Families are the most important thing, and Syed should be with his family; can't you see he's not happy the way things are?" she pleads.

"You forced him to stay with Amira last year, even though you could see he wasn't happy," Christian reminds her coldly, drawing back his hand, "so don't try to convince me that you care about Syed's happiness."

"I don't know what to do," she says dejectedly.

"Well, putting pressure on Syed is not an option," Christian says firmly. "And if you want to come back here again, you have to promise me you won't say anything to upset him," he warns.

"How is he coping?" she asks hesitantly.

"He is pretty much as you'd expect him to be," he says bluntly. "He found and lost his Son in a matter of days, and is grieving for his loss."

"Is he eating, sleeping?" she presses.

"Yes, mostly," he replies. "He eats when pushed to do it, and he sleeps once exhaustion overtakes him."

"Oh," says Zainab faintly.

"Yes, 'Oh'," Christian replies sarcastically. "Did you think that just because Syed can't let me go, that he doesn't love his Son? Do you think it's as easy for him as simply making a choice?"

"Family …" she starts to say.

"I'm his family, too," Christian snaps, "just like he's mine. You never think about my feelings in all this, do you?"

"You," she cries disbelievingly, "with your whole 'love them and leave them' attitude. You don't care about anyone but yourself," she sneers, "and some day when the infatuation wears off, Syed will see you for what you really are. You know, I'm surprised you've stayed with him so long, that you haven't gotten bored already. You think I don't know what _you people_ are like."

"You can't just lump all _us people_ together, just like you cannot lump all heterosexuals under one banner," Christian replies furiously. "I'll admit, I had a few one-night stands before I met Syed," he says reluctantly, ignoring Zainab's raised eyebrow at 'a few'; "but I've never met anyone like Sy. He's not just drop-dead gorgeous, he's also the sweetest, kindest, most loveable guy, he has such a playful nature, and ...," he checks himself, realising he's getting carried away. "You know, even us gays can fall in love and settle with one person," he adds quietly.

"So you love him, do you?" she asks sceptically.

"Yes, very much," he says simply.

"Oh," she mumbles, once more lost for words.

They mull this bit of information over for a few minutes, neither speaking.

"Is there no way you can find out where they've gone?" Christian asks eventually, hopefully.

"No, we've been to their Mosque, but no-one knows anything. And we don't know where else to look," Zainab says sadly. "Amira never talked much about her family. I don't know what to do, and Mas, well …" she trails off hopelessly.

"Maybe it's God's will, maybe he has a plan. Sy sometimes says ..." Christian starts to say carefully.

"Are you trying to be funny," snaps Zainab, her eyes flashing.

"No, there's nothing remotely funny about this situation," Christian replies angrily. "And why shouldn't I speak about God; you don't have a monopoly on religion; and anyway Sy says I'm one of God's creations, too," he informs her smugly.

"Oh, well, if _Sy _says it, then it must be true," replies Zainab sarcastically; but she can't help the little smile tugging at her lips, the first one he's had from her in almost a year.

"Christian, what are you doing out here? Is everything okay?" Syed asks, poking his head out the door. "I've taken the laundry out of the machine, and added the second load," he adds matter-of-factly.

"I'll be in, in a second," Christian says quietly.

"Are you okay? Did mum upset you?" Syed frets, noticing his serious expression; he walks quickly to him to offer comfort. "Mum?" he then cries in surprise, as he catches sight of her out of the corner of his eye.

"You never did laundry for me," Zainab accuses, amusement colouring her voice.

"Um, well," replies Syed nervously, trying to judge the mood.

"I'm sorry for earlier," she says gently, and adds shock to Syed's surprise by impulsively hugging him and kissing him on the side of the head. "I should be going," she then adds gruffly to both of them, before turning to walk down the stairs.

"What did you say to her?" asks Syed in amazement, as he and Christian re-enter the flat.

"Nothing very helpful, unfortunately," Christian says sadly.

###########################

_The following week_

"It's my fault," cries Tamwar, bursting through the door.

"Hey, stranger," says Christian by way of welcome. "Did you forget where we lived? You know we can't go to you. And small tip for you; when you get texts and phone calls, you're supposed to answer them. Do you know how odd it is to have your mother visiting and you staying away?"

"I'm sorry, for everything," he says tearfully.

"Hey, it's fine, don't worry," says Syed, getting up hug him, and give Christian a puzzled look over his shoulder.

"Has something happened, Tam?" asks Christian a few minutes later, handing him a glass of juice.

"I need to tell you something," he confesses.

"I'll leave you two to talk," says Christian, getting up and going to get his jacket.

"No, I need to tell you both something," insists Tamwar.

###########################

"She said it was none of my business, and then she got up and left," he concludes, his eyes lowered. "I'm sorry, so sorry; it's my fault you won't see your baby," he sobs, burying his face in his hands.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it," Christian soothes, putting his arm around his shoulders. "You thought you were doing everything for the best. Right Sy?" he says, urging him to say something.

"I need to go out for a bit," Syed murmurs, getting up and heading for the door.

"It's okay, he just needs a little time to get his head around it," Christian says gently when he sees the worry written all over Tamwar's face. "He's been all over the place recently."

It takes Syed almost an hour to get his head around it; and when he gets back to the flat, Tamwar and Christian are having dinner.

"Yours is in the oven," greets Christian casually when he walks in.

They eat in silence for a while, and then Syed says what's on his mind. "Tam, if you hadn't said those things to Amira, she might have come back to the hospital and waited for me to wake up; but it wouldn't have changed anything. As soon as I admitted to her that I couldn't live without Christian, the deal would have been off; she was never going to agree to a compromise," he admits sadly.

"But at least you'd have had a chance to reason with her; you'd have had some control over the situation," replies Tamwar miserably, "but I took the matter out of your hands."

"You were only trying to help," Syed says gently.

"You'd know where she is," Tamwar brings up the thing that's been bothering him the most. "You'd be able to go and see her after the baby is born."

"Not if she didn't want me to; she could still move away at a moment's notice, Qadim has property all over the UK and in Spain; disappearing would be the easiest thing in the world for her."

"I'm sorry I stuck my nose in," Tamwar says mournfully.

"You were trying to help me, because I couldn't help myself," Syed insists. "You didn't say anything that wasn't true; and if Amira had been sure about what she was doing, you wouldn't have been able to change her mind."

"Maybe," murmurs Tamwar, "but still ..."

"Tam, you're the only person who has unfailingly stood by me from the beginning, and I will never forget it," Syed says firmly; "and I know you would never deliberately hurt me, so please don't torture yourself like this. Christian, back me up," he pleads looking to Christian for help.

"Tam, none of this is your fault," Christian agrees. "Amira was looking for something she was never going to find with Sy. Even if he hadn't collapsed and they'd gone off to live together, it wouldn't have lasted. And, as Sy says, she would have had no problem disappearing. The only thing you did wrong was not coming to see us and talking about this after it happened. You shouldn't have let it eat away at you for so long."

"I'm sorry," says Tamwar with a little smile, "I'm so …."

"Stop saying you're sorry," shout Syed and Christian in unison.

###########################

_The following week_

"I'm not ready," Syed says anxiously.

"It's just for a few hours," Christian soothes. "I happen to know that the boss is very fond of you, and has missed your company, not to mention your brilliant organisational abilities."

"I don't know," murmurs Syed, weakening slightly.

"All the clients have been asking after you," Christian cajoles, "and the paperwork's all over the place," he admits, a note of pleading in his voice. "Listen, if you find after a couple of hours that it's too much for you, then you can come straight home," he promises.

"Do they know anything?"

"I've told them you've had some bad news, nothing more."

"Okay," Syed agrees reluctantly.

###########################

_Beginning of __December 2010_

"Back again?" asks Christian sarcastically. "That's twice in one week, people will talk."

"Shut up Christian," snaps Zainab, marching past him. "Where's Syed?" she asks, looking around the flat suspiciously, as if maybe Christian's hidden him under the bed just to spite her.

"He's gone to Mosque," Christian replies.

"Oh," she murmurs uncomfortably, searching for a way to leave without being (very) rude.

"Is he okay?" she asks.

"As the due date, or what he thinks might be the due date, approaches, he is getting more anxious, but work is helping to take his mind of things at least for part of the day," Christian tells her.

"Do you think she'll let us know once the baby's born?" she asks hesitantly, having no idea why she's asking Christian such a question.

"I don't know," he says quietly.

She says nothing for an awkwardly-long amount of time.

"Zainab ..." Christian starts to say impatiently.

"You know, if you hadn't come back … everything that's happened ... it's all your fault," she interrupts angrily.

"Get out," Christian immediately shouts.

"But you've taken such good care of Syed these last few months," she adds in a rush, stumbling over the words. "Anyway, I can't stand around chit-chatting all day, please tell him I came to see him," she immediately adds in a scolding voice before Christian can get a word out.

She almost mows him down in her haste to get out the door.

###########################

_25 December 2010_

"What's this?" laughs Christian, when he walks into the flat after being to see a client and finds the place covered in decorations; and the table all nicely set and covered in food, including a turkey (which is Halal so they can both eat it).

"Happy Christmas," greets Syed with a smile. He gives him a big hug and a kiss, and a gift of a romantic weekend in Paris.

"You didn't have to," Christian says gently, "I know you're not in the mood …"

"Yes I did," he replies, "you've been so good to me these last few months, and I'll never forget it; and anyway I'm hoping to share your present," he grins.

"Well if Ian and Phil both turn me down ..." Christian teases.

They sit down to eat a traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, and then curl up on the sofa with glasses of wine and orange juice.

"I think it's time for bed," murmurs Christian, once the _It's a wonderful life_ credits start to roll. He nuzzles Syed's neck playfully, and then pulls him across him so that he can kiss him properly.

"It's only 5pm," laughs Syed when Christian allows him to speak. "I'm sure you slept well last night, and you've only had one client today so you can't be tired," he teases. But he allows Christian to pull him up with him, and to undress him between kisses as he slowly backs him towards the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_January 2011_

"If you do that, I'll scream," warns Christian.

"Oh, get lost," laughs Syed, "there's nothing I could do to you that would make you scream."

"Maybe I'm not in the mood?" he pouts, twisting his head away from Syed's searching mouth.

"And maybe the sun will never shine again," giggles Syed. Using his knees to tighten his grip and stop Christian from moving, he forces his face back around so that he can kiss him properly.

The buzzer goes, interrupting their fun.

"Noooooooooooooo," cries Syed, as Christian lifts him up off of him, and drops him to the side as if he weighs no more than a feather; totally ruining any illusion Syed had that he was ever in control. "Can't we turn that thing off when we're ..., when we don't want to be interrupted," he growls.

"It would never be on," laughs Christian, looking quickly over his shoulder at Syed's grumpy little face, as he heads for the door. "All right, I'll take a look, later," he promises with a grin.

He picks up the answer phone, and after a moment presses the buzzer. "It's Amira," he says flatly.

Syed jumps up, quickly reaching for his clothes; Christian moves more slowly, a feeling of déjà vu stealing over him. He knows he should be happy for Syed, but all he wants to do is cry.

###########################

"This is your Son, Jack," says Amira, handing Syed the most adorable little baby.

"Hey there," whispers Syed, tears of relief slowly rolling down his cheeks.

Christian walks past them and out the door without Syed noticing.

###########################

"How are you?" asks Syed, without taking his eyes of Jack, who has managed to get his whole hand gripped around Syed's little finger. "Did everything go okay?"

"Everything went fine, my dad and my aunt were with me," Amira assures him. "I'll help myself to some juice, if you don't' mind?" she says on her way to the kitchen.

"Um," murmurs Syed absently, his focus totally on his son.

"I'm sorry I left so abruptly before," Amira says when she joins him on the sofa. "I had a lot to think about."

"Its okay, Tam explained," assures Syed vaguely, leaning down to kiss Jack's cheek.

"The thing is, the thing is, Syed are you listening?" Amira gently interrupts.

"Sorry," Syed says, looking up and trying to concentrate on what she's saying.

"Syed, I would like you to be involved in Jack's life," she admits, releasing a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "I want him to know you."

"Thank you," Syed says huskily, giving her his full attention for the first time. "You won't regret it, I promise. But there is one thing I need to tell you before you go any further. I don't want to mislead you anymore, I want to be honest with you," he says sincerely. "I've loved Jack from the moment I knew he existed, and I couldn't love him more; it destroyed me when I thought I was never going to see him, after you left. But I can't give up Christian; I don't exist, I don't function without Christian, it's just not possible. I'm sorry; I hope it doesn't affect your decision; please don't let it affect your decision," he pleads anxiously.

"I know how you feel about Christian, I don't need reminding," Amira says sharply. "And if I didn't already know, it became pretty clear to me when you literally fell apart because you couldn't be with him."

"When was he born? Is he happy and healthy? Does he sleep through the night? Does he eat well?" asks Syed, once more distracted by his absolutely perfect little boy.

"He was born on the 24th of December at 6am. He's a very good little boy, and perfectly healthy and happy," assures Amira. "The thing is …"

"You should have phoned me, I was so worried, wondering if everything was okay," Syed says quietly, without looking up.

"I know; I thought about it every day, but I was angry with you, and feeling sorry for myself," Amira admits. "I'd always imagined you being by my side, supporting me, sharing everything. I felt so alone after Jack was born, and I blamed you. But every time I look at him I see your eyes, and I know I can't just write you out of his life. I know he'll blame me one day if I don't let him get to know you. So, here I am," she concludes self-consciously.

"I would have been there if I'd known?" Syed says gently. "I will always care about you, that will never change," he promises.

"Just not the way you care about Christian," Amira says sadly.

"Me and Christian," Syed says shyly, "we just ... he's just," he mumbles self-consciously.

"I know," she says quietly, resigned.

"How involved in Jack's life will you let me be?" he asks tentatively.

"I've got a document with me, which I will leave with you to read. If you agree with what it says, we both need to sign it, and then my solicitor will file it with the Court."

"Does it say in there that I will get to see him sometimes?" he asks hopefully.

"If you sign the document, you will have Jack every second weekend, and for a couple of weeks during the Summer; and for another couple of weeks at any other time during the year that we both agree on, if that arrangement suits you," Amira confirms.

"Can I bring him here?" asks Syed tentatively.

"Yes," she agrees frostily, her nerves fraying just a little.

###########################

_That evening_

"Jane, have you seen Christian, is he there with you?" Syed demands, as soon as she answers the phone.

"No," Jane replies. "How long has he been gone?"

"He left at around mid-day, and hasn't been back since. I've tried calling and texting him, but his phone's turned off," he says worriedly.

"Have you had an argument?" she asks.

"No," replies Syed, "but I think seeing Amira and the baby might have upset him. One minute he was there, and the next he was gone. I didn't notice him leaving," he admits sadly.

"You've seen the baby; oh, that's wonderful," she cries, all delighted for him.

Wait, Amira came to see you?" she then adds sharply, realising what this means. "Are you going to go back to her?" she asks, worry and anger fighting for dominance in her voice.

"No, I'm not," Syed says firmly, "that's no longer an option."

"Does Christian know this?"

"Yes, I've told him, I'm sure I've made it clear to him ...," he trails off uncertainly, "I should have stopped him leaving, I just didn't ..."

"You were meeting your baby for the first time, it's understandable," Jane says gently.

"He'll think I'm going to go back to Amira because of Jack," Syed suddenly realises, horrified. "Oh God, Jane, I have to find him."

"Okay, hang on, I'll come with you," she says, quickly grabbing her coat.

They spend the next few hours searching everywhere they can think of, but Christian is nowhere to be found. In the meantime, they keep trying his phone, but it's still turned off. Eventually, they return to the flat, and find him with his bags packed, getting ready to leave.

"Christian, where've you been?" cries Syed, rushing over to him. "I was so worried," he admits, stroking his cheek tenderly and searching his face for answers.

"I …" Christian starts to say.

"What are you doing with those?" Syed interrupts him, his tone hardening when he notices the bags. "Are you going somewhere? Because you're not, you know. You're not going anywhere," he shouts backing away, trying to control his panic at the very thought of it. "We're a couple, we have responsibilities to each other; you can't just go running off whenever you feel like it," he reminds him sharply; totally forgetting in his anger and fear the conversation he had with Jane earlier about the very good reason Christian might have for thinking he had to leave.

"Are we still a couple? You're not going to leave me again?" Christian asks weakly.

"No, no, of course not," Syed reassures him gently, his anger vanishing as he realises what Christian has being going through for the past few hours. "I'm so sorry," he whispers, pulling him into his arms, and letting Christian bury his head in his shoulder. He rubs his back comfortingly as Christian cries tears of relief.

"What about your baby?" Christian asks hesitantly some time later, raising his face to look into Syed's eyes.

"Amira's going to let me see him regularly," Syed says, a big smile spreading across his face. "She's even brought me a document to sign, and it gives me rights, access, everything. It seems that Tam put quite a few doubts into her mind when they had lunch, and she's been going over and over things ever since. She said that in the end she realised she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she deliberately stopped her baby knowing his father. Isn't it wonderful?" he cries.

"Yes, yes it is," says Christian, hugging him close. "I'm so happy for you," he adds, his voice choked with emotion.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Syed asks after a moment, pulling back. "Do you mind if I bring him back here? Is it too much, too soon?" he asks worriedly. "He'll be no trouble, Amira says he's a good little boy," he adds quickly, pleading. "You only need to get involved if you want to, and you can be as involved as you want. I know it's a lot to take on since we've only really been together for a few months, and I totally understand if you … please tell me if you're not ready … we can figure something out ..."

"And breathe," Christian laughs, interrupting him. "Of course, I'm okay with it," he adds, taking Syed's face in his hands and kissing him tenderly. "It's what I've wished for from the moment I found out Amira was pregnant. Now, let's have a look at that document" he adds, suddenly changing tack.

"Jane, put away the popcorn, and get your phone out; we need Ian's lawyer's number," he adds, turning his attention to his sister.

"What?" asks Syed.

"Have you discussed maintenance?" he asks, his mind now on the practical side of things. "Is there a provision in the document that Amira cannot take him with her to live in another country, without your agreement? Do you know Amira's current address? What has Qadim said about all this?"

"Um, well, no, I don't know. I didn't ask any of those questions. Once she agreed access, I just ..." Syed's voice fades away uncertainly.

"We need to go by the book on this," Christian says firmly. "She's just had a baby, she's probably feeling overwhelmed by everything. If she changes her mind, or Qadim changes it for her, in a couple of months' time, we don't want to find that there's is a loophole in the document."

"I don't want to do anything which would make her change her mind about giving me access," Syed says anxiously.

"Don't worry, we won't," Christian assures him. "We're just going to get legal advice and follow the steps we need to follow, and everything will be fine."

"But …," Syed frets.

"Look, right now she believes the right thing is for you to be in his life, which means we'll never have a better chance to put everything in place to make sure you will always be in his life; that there are no unpleasant surprises down the line.

"I suppose," Syed says uncertainly.

"Believe me," Christian insists, "we've got to get everything in writing, and even then there's no guarantee. I could tell you some terrible stories ..."

"Yea," Syed agrees vaguely, his face clouding over with worry.

"Hey, hey, everything's fine, everything's going to be fine," Christian gently reassures, on seeing Syed's head drop. "I'm only thinking worst case scenario; I shouldn't have even mentioned it," he adds regretfully, pulling Syed into his arms for a comforting hug. "You have nothing to worry about, babe," he insists.

"No," Syed agrees, "fathers are getting more and more rights all the time, and once he's 16 …"

"Don't even think like that," Christian says, now wishing he'd kept his mouth shut, "it's not going to come to that, you're never going to lose him, I promise you."

"You think she might ever take him out of the country, to live?" Syed asks uneasily.

"That won't happen," Christian insists desperately; "and anyway, if it ever did, and we couldn't stop it happening, then where ever Amira took him to live, we could move there too."

"You'd do that, for me?" Syed asks in amazement, "even if it was somewhere as far away as Australia?"

"I'd climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea ...," says Christian teasingly.

"Yea, yea," laughs Syed, playfully nudging him.

"Seriously, personal trainers can get work pretty much anywhere these days," Christian insists, "and we do have catering experience, which could come in handy."

"Thank you," says Syed softly, hugging him close.

###########################

_Six weeks later_

"I understand why you can't, but I wish you were coming with me," Syed says unhappily.

"You'll have Tam, your mum, your dad," Christian reminds him, "you'll be fine."

"But you should be there," he insists.

"Sy, you're parents have asked the Imam to perform a special blessing for Jack. This is their chance to introduce him to your Community, their first grandchild. Amira and her father, and other members of her family and Community have accepted invites to come along; which is important, as it allows both your families to at least try to heal past wounds and recover some pride after what happened last year. More importantly, it shows both your communities that Amira and her baby have the support of both you as his father and both your families. It won't undo all the damage, but it will hopefully take away some of the shame I caused Amira when I forced you to out yourself so publicly. I owe her this."

"It wasn't you that hurt Amira, it was me," Syed corrects him, his voice full of regret, "and I don't like the idea of you being punished for my mistakes."

You and I have the rest of our lives together, and in future I will always be by your side; but we can give her this one day."

"Yes, yes, I know," he sighs, "but it just seems so unfair leaving you out; and it wouldn't just be you there," Syed insists, "Jane and Ian, Denise, even Roxy will be there; in fact, half the Square have accepted invites to come along. That's why we had to hire a place, to fit everyone in."

"And why do you think so many of the locals want to come along?" asks Christian, with a smile.

"Well, I thought ... to be honest, I'm not actually sure," Syed says confused.

"It's because they're hoping for another big bust up; most of them missed the last one. They'll be watching to see how you and Amira act around each other, and how Qadim will react when he sees you. And if I turned up, it's a pretty safe bet they'd get their wish; because I couldn't guarantee that the minute I saw that short-arse without his bodyguards, that I wouldn't tear him to shreds."

"You really think that's why they're all coming?" Syed asks bewildered.

"It's not the only reason; but if I know the good people of Albert Square, and I think I do," Christian replies cynically, "they love nothing better than a bit of drama."

"Well, I don't care how it looks, I'm not going anywhere near Qadim," Syed states forcefully; and in the next breath, "or maybe I will, maybe I'll have a word with him about what he did to you; you definitely think he wouldn't have any tough guys with him?" he asks casually.

"No, there's no need to do that; you don't want to create a scene and embarrass your family and Amira," Christian says carefully. "And anyway, he didn't win in the end, because I've got you and Jack, and you're both worth taking a beating for.

"Do you have any idea how much I love, you?" Syed says huskily, moving towards him, everything else forgotten.

"Syed, Syed, are you ready?" Zainab shouts jarringly from outside the door of the flat, her fists adding their own demanding message.

"Oh joy, it's your delicate flower of a mother," Christian smiles, as he goes to let her in, whilst Syed heads back to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

"Syed, come on, we're going to be late," shouts Zainab as soon as she enters the flat, her voice at the same level as when she was trying to make herself heard through the door.

"We've got loads of time," Syed replies patiently.

"Have you managed to speak to Amira about changing my grandson's name to something more traditional?" she demands abruptly. "Where did she get the name Jack?"

"No, I haven't, and I'm not going to," replies Syed firmly; "and she got the name from Titanic," he explains; "Jack Dawson, the character in Titanic, her favourite film."

"Titanic isn't her favourite film," sighs Christian, "it's 'Love Actually'. For her 18th, her father gave her £1,000, and she bought her first designer bag from a place called _Jacques' Boutique_; and she's liked the name ever since.

"Really?" asks Zainab in surprise, "are you sure?"

"Unlike your ridiculously handsome, first-born Son, I have actually had a proper conversation with Amira," Christian informs her.

"Christian, do I look okay?" asks Syed, walking out of the bathroom in the outfit he wore to his wedding, "I hate being the centre of attention," he admits, biting his lower lip.

"Hey," says Christian huskily, fighting against the painful memories seeing Syed in his wedding outfit brings. He walks over to him. "You look gorgeous, so perfect babe; now let's turn that frown upside," he teases.

"Don't you dare use the same lines on me that you use on Kamil," Syed warns, but he can't help smiling.

Christian takes his face in his hands and presses his lips gently against Syed's.

When he pulls back, he surprises a tender, almost wistful look on Zainab's face, but then she recovers herself. "Do you mind?" she cries. "You both make me sick ... flaunting yourselves ...," she slips into her familiar rant, before turning to march out, mumbling about maybe never darkening their door again.

"Here's hoping," a grinning Christian calls after her. He then turns back to Syed. He looks him over with loving care, checking that nothing's out of place; and then kisses him once more, before gently pushing him out the door.

"I'll bring Jack back here as soon as I can escape with him," Syed assures, looking back at him for a moment, before going down the stairs.

###########################

_Six months later_

"Christian, I think he wants to come to me now," Syed says, reaching for his Son.

"No, he seems perfectly happy to me," Christian assures him, as he lifts Jack up in the air one more time and blows noisy kisses into his tummy as he lowers him; all of which causes Jack to squeal with laughter.

"You'll make him sick," Syed half-heartedly scolds.

But Jack doesn't look like he has the slightest intention of being sick; he's too busy having fun.

When Christian removes his nappy, he kicks his legs wildly on finding himself free of all constraint. "Nothing too toxic in there," Christian murmurs, handing the nappy to Syed to dispose of.

As Syed watches Christian with their Son, he feels a happiness and contentment he's never known before. He'd always accepted that he would have to sacrifice a part of himself in order to live the life he thought he wanted to live, and to keep his family and his God happy. But then he met Christian; his wonderful, brave, perfect Christian; who believed in him and supported him in a way no other person ever would have. And Syed knows that he wouldn't be where he is now if it hadn't been for Christian's patients, enduring love, and determination to be honest about everything. He knows that Christian has saved him from a life half-lived.

"What's with the tears?" asks Christian, looking up at him, a note of concern in his voice.

"I'm just so happy," Syed admits huskily.

Christian reaches out and, cupping his cheek, gives him a gentle kiss. "Me too," he says softly.

The end.

**Thank you for reading to the end. I really hope you liked it.**


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